Silence
by pushpiin
Summary: Sanji moves away to study culinary and Zoro gets left behind. [ pc to MMCoconut on deviantart ]
1. Chapter 1

"Alright, fine, go ahead. I don't even care anymore what the fuck you do with your life; you can go now and do whatever the fuck you want with your life for all I care." Zoro says as Sanji stormed out of the apartment with nothing and closed the door with a loud noise.

It wasn't a normal fight like any other; both Zoro and Sanji knew this was the end of their relationship. And none of them want to admit it because they still want it to last, but nothing is working out anymore. Nothing good is happening to them, they're slowly drifted apart from each other. They thought they were perfect for each other; they thought they were _the_ one for each other. So they ask why, why did it ended up like this? How did it get to this? When did things go wrong? Was it me? Did I do something wrong? Both didn't have any answers for any of the questions they asked themselves.

Sanji decided to walk with no destination. He didn't know where he was going, yet he still continued to walk and walk. He wanted to clear his mind, but his mind be really cleared in just one walk? He doubts and wishes it at the same time. He thought of what he still wanted, he still wanted his relationship with Zoro. But then the thought was followed up by another one, Zoro wouldn't want him now, wouldn't he? After all, they're fight was about him getting a scholarship to a famous culinary school. Zoro wanted him to go, of course, but he decided not to accept the scholarship he earned. His reason was him.

Zoro wanted Sanji to take the scholarship, but he didn't and it was because of him. Sanji wanted to stay with Zoro and not go anywhere. He didn't want to be the reason why his _boyfriend_ doesn't succeed in meeting his dream; it makes him feel guilty knowing that. But now, he lost him and he knows the boy is up to no good. Who knows what will happen next? All he wanted was for Sanji to pursue his career without him as an excuse to not do it. Even if there was another excuse, he'd still want him to do it either way. He was flattered at first when Sanji decided to stay with him at first, but he then realized it means he doesn't want to chase his dream.

If it wasn't only for Zoro's role in the dojo, he would've gone with Sanji, but he was the breadwinner of the dojo. He was the most talented and experienced one in the dojo; might even say a bit better than the owner of the dojo himself. He couldn't leave his students; he wanted to see them excel and see how far they can go. He had to think of himself too, but was he really right about thinking about himself? Was what he did selfish?

Zoro takes out a can of beer from his fridge, opens it, and drinks from it. He sits on the leather couch and turns the TV on. He decided to wait for Sanji, even though he doubted he would come home tonight. He still waited for him, though.

Sanji came to conclusion it was time for him to find a place where he can sleep, he decided a room in a hotel would be nice, but he decided he had no money with him. He had no choice but to walk to the old geezer's house. He wanted to go _home_ where Zoro is, but he knew he wouldn't want him to be there. Like he thought earlier, he probably hates him right now. He walks fast and steady; he looks down and looks around. Everyone who was walking was happy, they seemed to be having the best time of their lives. But Sanji? Nah, he was a dumb fuck, he now realized there are multiple ways how they can communicate when Zoro was across the world from him.

"What relationship? Our relationship probably ended right there at that moment I left our home." He mumbles to himself. He looks up to see where he was standing; in front of Baratie. He sees it was closed, but knowing his old man he knew the door would be left open. He was just here hours ago, but now he's back again. "Aye, old geezer, I'm back." He greeted Zeff.

"Did you forget something? Why are you back this late?" Zeff looked at the fancy clock; it read 10:28 PM. The old man knew already when he looked at Sanji.

"We had another fight." Sanji sighs and sits down at a random and clean table. "He got mad because I didn't accept the scholarship." Well, Sanji hasn't really officially refused, but his mind was made up until he had a fight with Zoro. Zeff walked towards Sanji to slap him in the neck.

"You're a dumbass, you know? Did you not think about how he would feel? You always talked about your future together with him. You'd be the famous chef," Zeff quotes, "and he would still teach at the dojo. He would want you to accomplish your dream after all, with him or without him. He wouldn't want to get in your way." He goes back to wiping the tables.

"So you think I should go because of him?" Sanji asks.

"No, you should go because you want to learn more about cooking, you want to master cooking. Use Zoro as an inspiration." It was the first time Zoro's name was mentioned in the conversation.

"Alright, thanks, old man." Sanji smiles at Zeff and exits out of the restaurant and walks home.

As he walks home, he battles with both sides of his brain and think what will happen next. He doesn't want Zoro to feel like he needs to hold on to a promise; a promise that can be either broken or kept. He doesn't want to cage him in a love that is falling apart. After all, they've been having too many small fights that lead to the biggest fights they have ever had. Is their love fading away? The spark wasn't as bright as it was before.

So he decides to write addressed to Zoro when he got home. He sees him sleeping on the couch with two empty cans of beer. Sanji sighed at the scene, he sure will miss this. He wanted to call of their relationship now; he's going to leave a week after anyway. All he has to do is write the letter he wants to write, tell the university he is acquiring the scholarship they have offered, and maybe stay at his old man's house.

He goes to their room (Well, only Zoro's now) and sits down on the wooden chair. He grabbed a piece of line paper and a functional pen and writes his heart out.

After signing the letter, he packs his clothes and leaves the sweater Zoro loves. Before he left, he kissed Zoro on the lips one last time. It was full of passion, emotions; it was basically what Sanji could give Zoro. Before the green haired man woke up, he left. But this time, he looked back and said, "I'm sorry."


	2. chapter 2

It's been a week ever since Sanji moved out and here he is at the nearest international airport Zeff and he could find. He packed all the things he could pack in his black luggage. He has one carry on, a small backpack with some of his technology and a book. He has checked in and is all alone now. Zeff probably has left already to go back to Baratie. He has less than ten minutes until his plane starts to board and he still couldn't decide if he should call Zoro to say goodbye or not, so he stares at his phone. His network plan for his phone doesn't get cut off until tomorrow; it is no problem calling Zoro.

But he just sits there at does nothing. Sanji desperately wants to call his boyfriend (ex-boyfriend now) to tell him he's still sorry and he loves him still. The thing is, he's scared. Even though they broke up already, he's still scared Zoro is going to reject him and say nothing. Besides, he already ended what was left, he can't go back now; he's still empty handed. He has nothing to offer to him that would automatically bring him back. At last, he made up his mind. He wasn't going to call Zoro.

On the other hand, Zoro stares at his phone too. He's allured to dial Sanji's number; he memorized it so there was no use of deleting him in his contacts. To come he to it, he already dialed his number, the thing is he hasn't press the green button that sends Sanji the call. He thought about it, if he does call, what would he tell him? Hell, is he even going to answer the call? Zoro stares both at the phone and the letter Sanji has given him a week ago.

He still hasn't let go of the letter, he rereads it every day. He wears the sweater Sanji left for him too; he knew he loved this sweater. It was a plain sky blue one; it was simple yet meaningful to him. Besides the letter, it was the only thing Sanji has left for him. It is one of the two physical memories of his what used to be lover.

"Fuck it," Zoro says when he tapped the button 'call.' He puts his phone near his right ear and waits for Sanji to accept the call. "Come on, Sanji." He murmurs to himself. What if Sanji doesn't answer? What if words don't come out of his mouth and he'll end up embarrassed? He was still anxious until he heard a hello from Sanji.

"Hello? What do you need, Zoro?" Sanji rarely called him by his first name, this sent chills to Zoro's spine. Usually it was 'marimo' or 'asshole,' but this time it's by his name. Zoro has risked everything, he has nothing else to put in the table, so he just says; "I still love you, cook."

Zoro waited for a reply, but he got nothing. It was nothing but complete silence; not one of them could break the silence. He waited for about two minutes until he heard Sanji's plane was going to board any minute now, and that's when ended the call. Maybe Sanji didn't love him anymore, but hell, it's only been a week since they broke up. Were his written words in the letter lies? Heh, such a liar he is.

Zoro lies in his bed and stares at his beige colored ceiling. He had nothing else to do, but cry. Cry because his love didn't receive any response. Shit, even an 'I don't love you anymore' would be better than silence. Although, he realized to accept the silence Sanji gave him; so he took out a can of beer from his fridge and started drinking until he was drunk and passed out.

Sanji was half way through his flight, yet, he was still thinking about what happened hours ago. He was stupid to not say anything, why would he do that? Why did he not give Zoro a response? And yet, he expected _Zoro_ to not give him nothing but silence. Ha, of course he didn't think he would be the one who was doing to do it. Of course, Zoro would've probably wanted words as an answer, but even that Sanji couldn't give. That's when he realized, he couldn't _really_ give him anything, not even words.

He looked around him to see sleeping people, he was one of the few who couldn't sleep or chose not to sleep. He was in the first class section of the plane; the scholarship provided him his plane tickets. He pulls out the book he brought, trying to concentrate. It worked for a few minutes, but he put the book down when he was just _tired_. Not restless and no sleep tired, he was tired of everything. He wants to tell the pilot to bring him back to the airport. He wants to run back to his home or wherever Zoro is right now. He wants to hug him that he could barely breathe. Lastly, he wants to say the words back to him.

But he can't, he made his decision already and he wants to stick to it for the sake of his integrity. He already said he would do it; he can't turn back time now, can he?

Instead of mourning because of his not well made decision, he thinks of the great and well things that can turn out of it. He'll have more knowledge, learn such things he needs to learn, and hopefully mature more so he can be ready to what life throws at him.

Maybe by then, he can say the words back to Zoro (that's if Zoro doesn't have any one new) because he knew he would be the only one for him. He knew Zoro was the one, even if he wasn't the one for him. He was aware he was the only one he would love in his time span. Because right now, moving on was impossible.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Zoro,

I'm sorry if it ended up this way, I didn't want it to. Before you throw this letter away, I just wanted to tell you I accepted the scholarship like you wanted me to. I just want to let you know I'm doing this for you, I want to come back with something I'm going to be proud of (and hopefully you're going to be proud of me too). I apologize for leaving you with just a letter, I'm sorry for being a pussy. After all I've to you the last couple of days? Heh, I should be ashamed of myself. I was always the reason we're fighting; from t smallest to biggest things.

We met through Luffy, that dumb and reckless idiot. But if it wasn't for him, we still would've been strangers to each other, it's kind of like he set us up; but he didn't. We were always fighting, verbal and physical, yet when we reached our junior year, that's when we realized we both fell in love with each other. We denied it at first, but thanks to Nami, I was convinced you felt the same way. Ever since then, we started dating. They would tease us, but we just laughed with them because not either one of them knows the feeling of falling in love. I guess you can both call us lucky to have felt love; not everyone does.

Our last year in high school was the most dramatic and impossible one, but we survived it, right? That year, we both lost our virginity to each other. And that year, you were extremely over protective of me because everyone knew about our sexuality. Not everyone approved our relationship, but we didn't give two shits and kissed in front of them. We were shameless when it came to our sexuality, but what is there to be ashamed of, anyway? Graduation came and all of us graduated and celebrated together. It was the best day of my life until you moved in with me. And that was almost two years ago.

We decided to not go to college first and instead work; and to spend time with each other of course. We knew how hard college can be, so we thought we'd take a break from studying and cherish each other. You started teaching at the dojo and I started working more shifts at Baratie. We financially managed to afford a spacious apartment with an aesthetic view of the streets and shops. We had extra money for additional furniture as well; so we decided to decorate the apartment our own selves. It wasn't that good, but it wasn't bad either.

The first month with the same house as you, you and I decided let's not rush things because you felt like we already did. We were still adjusting to our new environment and new surroundings, we got used to it quickly though. I remember when you'd ask me if you can kiss me; I found it sweet because you still wanted my permission even though we already had sex. I remember the first night we did it at our own home too; I caught you jerking off because we were on spooning position. I don't blame you, it's hard to control yourself when you're with a hot guy like me (no, I'm kidding please don't tear this letter to pieces).

One year has gone by and our relationship was stronger than ever; we encountered with small and big fights, but we fixed them as soon as we can. Unlike that time, we didn't fix our problems quickly and I think that's one of the reasons I'm writing this letter to you. I had high hopes things will go back to normal, but it didn't, it only got worse huh? We had too much pride; we wanted to believe one of us was right instead of believing we can be either right or wrong. Ha, how stupid we are. Why did the fights randomly appear anyway? Was it my fault? I'm sorry and you know that. I'm sorry I put up a wall just to be right. I'm sorry I was so damn stubborn that I didn't know our relationship was falling apart.

Maybe at the right time and right place we'll learn how to love each other again; or maybe not. Who knows? Time is a tricky thing and so is fate. Time flies by easily and our minds change; so do our feelings. Maybe by the time we see each other again we'll accept whatever we're feeling. If we both have fallen out of love or maybe just one of us, then we'll have to let it go. But hey, we can still be in love with each other. Maybe this is just a big test for our relationship, if our love truly does stand until its end.

Heh, can you believe it? Our relationship lasted for four years. Maybe it'll be more than that, but hey see you later. I still love you.

Love, Sanji.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm sorry it took awhile ! I've been going everywhere and didn't have any time to write. But yeah, I published a really fluffy zosan one shot though, feel free to read it ! It's called Late Night Thoughts and yeah. I hope you like it ! By the way, there was supposed to be another chapter but I realized this ending is much better than what I had in mind. If this sucks, sorry not sorry but it is my first zosan fic. So yeah, enjoy reading !

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It was Zoro's second to the last day at the new and foreign city, at least to him anyway. The city was located at a different country from where Zoro lives. He was there because one of his students from the dojo got into an international competition. He looked like a proud mom when he found out one of his students was qualified and accepted to join the competition. Unfortunately, the student of his didn't win first place; she won second though. Zoro was okay with it, he knew the teenage girl tried her very best.

He was all alone now; walking through the busy streets. He was looking for a certain place, but knowing Zoro; he'd get lost. He didn't want to bring anyone, he wanted to be alone. He was looking for Sanji's university. Coincidentally, where the competition was held was at the same city as Sanji's school. He was confident to say he'd find it, but he didn't, so he went to the nearest coffee shop. The line was short, surprisingly, and he ordered some coffee.

Zoro was looking for an empty chair, but instead he saw a blonde, skinny, and long legged man. "Huh, he looks exactly like Sanji." he murmured to himself. He was an idiot at first to not notice _it_ was Sanji, but when the cook turned around; he knew it was him. It was the one who he has loved after three years of not seeing him.

Zoro was in shock, what was he going to say again? Why was he looking for him again? Why did he think of seeing him again? Oh yeah, because Zoro was still in love with Sanji. He had high hopes Sanji would feel the same. He had confidence he would be able to at least mouth a word in front of him; but he can't now that Sanji is in front of him, staring directly to his brown eyes.

"Iced coffee for Zoro!" says the lady who was working at the shop. Zoro breaks the eye contact with Sanji and takes the iced coffee. He goes back to Sanji's table with a made up mind, he was going to talk to him no matter what. He has come so far and he's tired of waiting for him, so he took this event as a chance to clear things up with his ex-lover. He sits down across the blonde without receiving any invitation from the chef.

"Hey," Zoro starts talking and sips his vanilla iced coffee. Sanji looked up to the green haired man.

"Hi?" The cook didn't know what to say. Was he supposed to say sorry? Was he supposed to ask what the marimo is doing here? Or was he supposed to ignore the man? He doesn't know.

"It's been awhile," Zoro stares at Sanji and his pile of homework. Was he here to meet someone and discuss their work? Hell, did he interrupt something? No, that's not possible; the love cook was alone when he came.

"Yeah," Sanji continues writing, avoiding eye contact with the other man.

Unfortunately for Zoro, the conversation became awkward. What was there to say other than 'I still love you' and 'I missed you'? Heh, the swordsman had a lot of unanswered questions for Sanji, maybe this was the time he gets an answer.

"You told me in the letter you still loved me, but why didn't you say it back?" Zoro straight up asked the man, which is stunned and speechless. Was he here _just_ for that? Sanji thought. He wasn't prepared for this, he expected a normal conversation and then _this_ , but the marimo skipped the normal conversation to _this_.

The blonde sighs, "Let's go somewhere private." He packs all his schoolwork to his backpack and stands up, tucking the chair in as always. Zoro follows him as he leaves the coffee shop and walks towards his apartment. Sanji walked fast and steady, wanting to reach his apartment in less than ten minutes. He wanted to pour his heart out to Zoro, tell him what he's been keeping to himself all these years.

He wanted Zoro to know he regret every fight they have ever had, especially the last one. He wanted to hug and tell the marimo he still feels the same way he felt three years ago. He was more than grateful he saw the man he loves today, it made his day ten times better than yesterday, the other days, and the other days he wasn't with him. But Sanji failed to say it himself, hell; he would even avoid thinking about it. He'd like to think no one was waiting for him back _home_ and he'd like to think he moved on.

And there was his small apartment with only two rooms and one bathroom. This past year, he's been working part time at a five star hotel and has been earning a lot of money, but he decided to stay at a not so extravagant apartment. He wanted to save money so that when he comes back for Zoro, they won't have to financially suffer. He has a car, but it wasn't one of those fancy cars every one desires, Sanji was content with his.

Sanji unlocks the door and lets both Zoro and himself inside the small apartment.

Zoro on the other hand, examines the place. He would describe it as tidy, unlike his place. Small frames stand on a shelf with a few cook books and a small cactus. A flat screen TV hung on the wall; it wasn't an extravagant TV, as expected from Sanji. He was a simple man who can be contented with just average, it wasn't really a surprise to Zoro. But one conversation with Robin shook Zoro and his mind a lot.

"Sanji's normally okay with the simple things, why does he want the best now? Maybe its love that's making him wants the very best of everything. He wants something both you and him can brag about; maybe perhaps he doesn't feel complete yet?" Zoro let Robin read the letter, but only her and Nami. They were the only ones he can run for help, for some reason, everyone disappeared.

Zoro thought of what Robin said a lot, it made him think that there's more for Sanji to explore. Maybe that's what Sanji thinks is better than what he had to offer to their relationship. The green haired man thought of this again and again, he's even thinking of it now that he's in front of Sanji. And that's when he lost it; he lost all control of himself. He kissed the blonde cook deep and full of passion. He missed his taste; it felt like heaven once again. It felt like he's in paradise now that he's with Sanji. Sanji kissed back when he realized the man was kissing him.

They both forgot their previous tragedy, they forgot all their troubles, they bid goodbyes to their surroundings, and all they were focused on was just one another. They couldn't think of anything else, there wasn't anything else to think of.

Sanji broke the kiss and looked into Zoro's deep, brown eyes. It was sparkling, he remembers the sparks he'd always find in Zoro's eyes; it was the same as ever. And that's when he realized it; he was ready to admit to himself and Zoro that he was still in love. That all these past three years, it was still him. It was never someone new, it was never anyone else he loved, and he never moved on.

"I still love you, you know." Zoro says casually as he sits down, turns the TV on, and puts his feet up on top of the coffee table.

Sanji smiles, "I love you too, heh. I'm sorry if I didn't say it back then, but now, I said it back."

Sanji and Zoro felt home again.


End file.
